Tell your dad to meet you at olive garden at 6 pm sharp.
Tell your mom to meet you at 6:05 pm sharp.
When they arrive have a basket of shitty salad and breadsticks at the table.
Have marriage license presented along with complimentary dessert by your zany server.
Tell their server it is both of their birthdays so that the staff will sing to them.
Watch all of this from a booth with your dad’s girlfriend.