Invent your own sculpture garden! heres how: Take a lawn from someone and water it vigorously with ramen noodles and smart water. wait threee weeks and there should be tomatos growing. now gather up all your neighborhood cats and glue them to a ladder and place that where you think it looks the most artistic. charge $7 weekdays, $9 on weekends
I watched this kid today try to steal money from his mom's purse at the grocery store. Before he got his filthy fucking hands in her wallet. I yelled "Theif!" and threw my large americano in his face. After the mom realized what her kid was doing she spit on him and gave me a ride to the bank where she opened up a checking account in my honor using her son's name.
you guys constantly tired of hearing "in this economy"? well, make your own fucking economy then. Slap a couple 16oz. ribeyes to your chest and walk around Wall street asking for a blowjob. If nothing comes of it, you still have steak and YOUR new economy
is your job as a bank teller getting old? fill your sweatshirt with live crickets and get fucking drunk as a skunk it's fucking casual friday they'll get over it either that or they'll have to go to wahchovia instead.
Walk into your wells fargo and demand to open a joint checking account with a pile of hamsters. get ATM cards for all of them, even the dead ones. and some golf themed checks. cite the 3rd amendment repeatedly.
also demand the currency be eggo waffles$$$. that should help out*
hey man you ever feel like it’s just not gonna happen for you? well stop being like that with your thinking. couple starter ideas for you guys out there having a tough economic time.
- invent an scraping device to get all that taco off the dog’s hair
- don’t go to jail cuz its too expensive rt now just ask my cousin Cody he’s just got out of jail and is broke as fuck!
- pro baseball pitching - those guys are pulling in loot
- computers are coming up strong lately so keep typing just keep at it!
- turn in an applebees menu instead of a cover letter.
- rent your spare bedroom to a small startup company like Dominos or Best Buy and then steal it like facebook when it gets huge just say i started it in my spare bedroom and take alot of pictures of yourself wearing a shirt that says CEO for proof